Pay it Forward

Sometimes the act of Paying it Forward can be rooted in a negative event that has had a most positive outcome. What is meant by that is, second chances. A second chance can come from negative events that have contributed to a life altering change, from that change a struggle is manifested. Sometimes a second chance is granted, how is not always easily explained. To those that have received such a gift, then become driven to act upon this and begin a journey. A journey of gratitude, and to share this gifted kindness with all those they can reach.

My journey began almost 4 and a half years ago. Then, I was at the worst point of my life. I was at what many describe as the bottom of the barrel. I was lost, without hope, I was alone and reckless with my life and everything in it. I was hell bent on destruction and misery to this life I barely existed for. The ghost I was in the halls of my own home, the stranger I was to my wife, the shadow of a father to my children; this was me. I was two steps from death on more occasions I can remember. The burnt recollections I still struggle with to date. Of all the pain and suffering I caused, my only out was giving up. So I thought.

I was never prepared for what happened to me, but I am forever grateful it did. My children are my saving grace. My son especially, he is the reason I am still alive from that night. All it took was the innocence from a barely 18 month old boy and one word “daddy” to break me of all of this and remind me there was good in me. It began the next morning. I was determined to be the father I should have been. Everything outside of my children, I had already lost, the damage was done, it was far too late. I began my detox, I began my purge, I started the self discovery and understanding. Most of all I began the promise; the one I have upheld these years. I promised I would never go down that path ever again, I would not let this consume me ever, and I would show gratitude and give thanks for the change I was gifted. I would pay it forward, and live by that. I suffered agonizing withdrawals for over 10 months, I went through countless NA meetings, hundreds of therapy sessions, and I had to heal. I had to reconnect with my kids and I needed to take responsibility for my actions. I took this chance and I have continued to pass on and act in kindness and positivity to those I come across in need.

Kindness is like water, it can carve valleys, it can move mountains, it is an undeniable force that cannot be stopped when put in motion. It spreads like a flame burning. Kindness is the energy, the breath of life to the flame. When someone acts in kindness, it sparks, and that flame is fanned, it spreads, it grows, it becomes an inferno; and by god it will light up the darkest of nights.

Pay It Forward;  it is not just a phrase, it is powerful. It to some, is a way of life. It becomes a part of you. It becomes part of your reason, part of who you are. It is the ultimate giving back you can express, because it is for the greater good.

Take action, be kind, remember that it can be of simple gestures that can even have such impact on another.

It can change the course of a moment, better someone’s day, it can redirect a whole life.

I believe in; “if you can’t pay it back, then pay it forward.”